Accepting the Bunny's payment, Lobo was only too happy to see the job through. Several years ago, one of Crusher Kringle's primary rivals, the Easter Bunny, hired the intergalactic bounty hunter Lobo to assassinate Santa Claus. He maintained an army of elves, and through a practice of planned malnutrition, was able to keep them short in stature and "fierce as ferrets". Known as Kris "Crusher" Kringle, this concept of Santa Claus was a brutal dictator who ran an empire out of his stronghold at the North Pole. One rather biased account of Santa Claus however, did not paint him as a jolly old gift-giver, but rather as a merciless slave-owner. Once, Superman dreamed about helping Santa, including a visit to his famous toy factory at North Pole When he woke up, the Man of Steel discovered a gift: a Kryptonian toy, as no other person could have conceived. The Sandman and Jed then helped Santa to deliver presents to all of the children of the world that year. The Sandman ( Garrett Sanford) and his friend Jed liberated Santa from the Seal Men and cleared up what was otherwise just an embarrassing misunderstanding. One year, a group of disgruntled thugs known as the Seal Men decided to kidnap Santa Claus out of revenge for giving them "inappropriate" gifts. Įven if the original, corporeal body of Santa Claus no longer existed, the essence of Santa Claus proved to be truly immortal. Whether the skeleton that Constantine acquired really belonged to the actual Saint Nikolaus, or whether this individual was in fact Santa Claus is a matter of interpretation. He used some of the powder for his ritual, then snorted the rest as if it were cocaine, musing about how it was going to be a "White Christmas". In order to get the remains through customs, Constantine had them ground into powder and convinced the customs agent that it was gardening fertilizer. In 2008, John Constantine located the skeleton of the holy Nikolaus and arranged to have the remains shipped back to England for use in an occult ritual. The faithful disinterred Nikolaus' remains and shipped them to the Basilica di San Nicola in Bari, Italy where they remained undisturbed for centuries. His remains were entombed in Myra until the 11th century when the Saracens invaded Turkey. Nikolaus passed away in 343 CE, when he ascended to sainthood. He was also known for his benevolence, charity, and anonymous gifts to the poor. As an adult, Nikolaus was appointed the Bishop of Myra, where he developed a reputation for performing miracles, such as resurrecting the dead. Nicholas), born in Patara, Lycia ( Turkey) in 270 CE. This is the story that most children are raised to believe, but the true story of Santa Claus is steeped in mystery and conjecture.īy the account of magus John Constantine, the historical Santa Claus was actually Agios Nikolaus (St. He maintained a census of which children were naughty and which children were nice, doling out his gifts accordingly. On December 24th of each year, he would ride off in a sleigh driven by eight reindeer to distribute gifts to children around the world. In the old tradition, Santa Claus was thought of as a portly man, with a white beard who lived at the North Pole and managed a colony of elves who manufactured toys all throughout the year. 1.1 Lobo: Paramilitary Christmas Special.
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